We were all sitting on the roof of my cousin’s home in Crete finishing dinner when my family asked what the plan was for the next day. My Greek relatives giggled. They had started making fun of us for our constant querying about The Plan. Where are we going, we’d ask. What are we doing, what time will things begin and end?
Instead of indulging our questions, they nudged us up, grabbed our hands, and we all began Greek dancing. With whoops and laughter, we forgot about The Plan, instead dancing as the moon rose over the small village.
This memory came to me again as my husband Charley and I found ourselves dropping The Plan last week on vacation in Seattle, instead following a red-headed, self-proclaimed “vampire” down the street one day.
Let me back up. During our Seattle trip, literally every day we watched as our itinerary dissolved midway through the day. We would begin with a guidebook and an idea, and eventually that would be replaced with something different and often much better.
After dinner one evening we heard some far off music. Following it, we noticed crowds increasing. We soon discovered there was a Mariner’s baseball game that evening, and almost before we could ponder if we wanted to go, a woman appeared offering us free tickets! We ended up sitting with her and her lovely family, watching a rare Mariner win complete with a grand slam and fireworks. And of course, we couldn’t leave without trying a famous “Seattle Dog” (hot dogs with cream cheese, grilled onions and jalapenos).
By diverging from our plan, we ended up talking to people we never would have, finding hidden places, and discovering an ease that comes from having loose directions, but plenty of spaciousness for the universe to step in and delight us.
That takes us back to the vampire. We were in the middle of a crowded, rush hour downtown Seattle street, wishing for a peaceful outdoor happy hour, yet seeing nothing but honking cars and bumper to bumper bodies. Just then the red-haired woman appeared from behind asking if we were finding everything we needed. We told her what we were looking for, and she said follow me. We obeyed. (She went on to explain that she hated sunlight and Seattle summers and preferred living like a vampire in dark, shaded places.) Within a few minutes we had all ducked down a side street and landed in Occidental Square – a wide, tree-lined, quiet square with a row of restaurants and outdoor patios for people watching. There was no traffic to be found, just birdsong and cool shade. We felt like we had been hand delivered into Paradise.
Now that I’m back home, I’m seeing how we spend so much energy trying to control our days and efficiently line up tasks and outings so we don’t risk boredom, missteps, lack of productivity or missing out. But ultimately we ARE missing out. Missing out on the magic that happens when we leave breathing room in our days along with curiosity about what can happen. Missing out on a more interesting and creative way to experience life.
Yes, vacations are an ideal time to experiment with this way of being. But I find when I bring this mindset of discovery and listening for what’s next to my daily work life — rather than always following the narrow marching orders of my inner scheduler — something delightful often happens. An impromptu trip to a coffee shop leads to meeting an essential contact I haven’t seen in years. Playing with my routine leads to unexpected new energy. The Plan falls away, leaving room for new ideas and, sometimes, even dancing…
What gets in the way of loosening the grip on your Plan every now and again? When have you released your Plan in the past and found delightful consequences? Click here and then share your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of the blog.
* * *
Upcoming Events
Creative Soul Seasonal Women’s Circles
(Last chance) – Circles begin August 15, 2019
You can procrastinate another whole season… or you can slip into one of the last spots of the Creative Soul Women’s Circles. Stretch into something new and risk finding new friends, expressing yourself in a way that lightens your burden, and finding inspired clarity about your life. If you want to explore with us this fall, go here.
Women’s Inspired WRITING (and life) Circles
Austin, Texas
Stuck with your writing or your life? There’s no need to make this a solo or difficult journey when you can get inspired in a community of like-minded creatives and step into freedom and flow. Two spots in these popular Circles will open in September, 2019. For specific details, email me; for general information, go here.
Spring Retreat in Taos: Greening the Creative Spirit
Mabel Dodge Luhan House
April 5 to 10, 2020
with Carolyn Scarborough and Sharon Zeugin
Unwind underneath the big skies and tap into your most alive, inspired and creative self at this special retreat in New Mexico. We will stay in the Mabel Dodge Luhan House, a rambling hacienda nestled between an Indian pueblo and the artsy village of Taos. Whether you are interested in art, in writing, or inspiration in general, you are welcome to join us. Nothing is needed but a desire to tap into your creative soul. More details coming soon…
Image by Joe Mabel [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Carolyn, thank you for this lovely post. After retiring, I’ve found that giving up a work schedule (and all the to-dos that have to be done outside work) has been extremely satisfying to my soul. Each day, I have one or two things that must be done, but I don’t have to rush. I reach out more to friends who are having a hard time. I explore more when I’m running errands. The spontaneity that I love on vacation has become much of my real life!
Beth, it is so easy to have more time and NOT use it in this mindful way. So glad you are really appreciating your retirement as the creative adventure it can be!
Thanks Carolyn … lovely essay, and your experience sounds delightful!
I actually have the opposite problem, and have had it all my life. I don’t have the “inner scheduler” gene you write about … my nature is to follow where the moment leads, and to let whatever happens happen. And let me tell you, it has gotten me in big trouble over and over again! It worried my parents to death when I was young and tended to piss other people off when I got older. It also doesn’t fit into the world of school and work, although I gradually learned to strike a balance … sort of. 🙂 But oh, the adventures and chance meetings with amazing people have been worth it!
I wanted to share one of my favorite quotes, by French writer and poet André Breton. He’s talking about a character in one of his plays, but he’s also describing himself. When I can, this is what I aspire to:
“Actually it’s quite true that he’s not waiting for anyone since he’s not made an appointment, but the very fact that he’s adopting this ultra-receptive posture means that by this he wants to help chance along, how should I say, to put himself in a state of grace with chance, so that something might happen, so that someone might drop in.”
Dell I love this quote! This is also the perspective I take when I am waiting for a story idea to drop in. I go out in the world and listen/experience, antenna up…
Oh, my! How I love what you wrote, Carolyn. Just brilliant! And, so beautifully written–I was right there with you. And, Jeanne’s comment is wonderful, too. I’m leaving my desk and my to do list right now. I’m going to hop in my car and go have a mini-adventure! Thank you!
Woo hoo – kudos for your mini-adventure Kay!
I immediately met 3 incredibly nice people I wouldn’t have met otherwise, ran into an old friend and had a nice chat, and ate some delicious food. Very good for my soul. Then I came back to work refreshed and happy. Carolyn, thanks again for sharing your experience, doing it so beautifully, and being such an inspiration for living life more fully!
So glad to hear it, Kay!
My son and daughter-in-law took my husband Robert and me to Cozumel for my 65th birthday. The resort was beautiful, lush and the weather perfect. After the second morning of my asking over breakfast what the schedule was, my son shook his head and said, “Mom, there is no schedule. It’s a vacation. Let it happen.”
It remains of the best lessons I’ve ever learned and one that usually requires daily practice on my part when my “inner scheduler” as you called it tries to drive the bus.
Thanks, Carolyn!!
“Let it happen.” Wise words from your son! And yes, I so agree, this is a daily practice, not one we learn overnight and do perfectly for the rest of our lives. Thanks for the great wisdom!