Sometimes I feel like Rapunzel. There I am in my tower, creating away, uninterrupted (that’s the key word here) and delighting in my work. When I’m in the zone with my creative process, people can yell and scream from the ground, but I’m not letting my hair down to give anyone the old heave ho into my private chamber. I just want to be left alone.
There are some great things about this. No one can get in unless I let them. I can write and create in peace. The open windows let the sunshine in.
But recently, there have been some barbarians at the gate. Barbarians of the best kind. I call them family.
Not only has my daughter moved back home as she attends graduate school, but more significantly my husband — who for the many years has been happily out in the world working ELSEWHERE — decided instead to start his own business. Which means during the week he sometimes wants to stop into my castle for a sandwich. Or to make some calls. Or even spend the day there!
As you can imagine, my inner Rapunzel got into a huff with these changes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband. I hit the jackpot when I married him almost 30 years ago. And… our home is MY castle. My creative space. My silence where I refuel, write, coach or lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling until an idea comes for my next blog or big program. This is my place… at least from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday.
I have a friend whose husband just retired. For many years now she’s been writing novels on her bed. In silence. Now, he’s there. Not in bed with her (well, maybe some days), but power washing the house, asking where she keeps the garbage bags or loudly watching TV. She’s about to have a meltdown – her third this week alone.
I know, some of you are wishing for five minutes of silence, let alone the expanses I’ve gotten used to. I get it, and I feel grateful for what has become my “norm” through the years of running a creative business from home while my husband slayed dragons out in the corporate world. I deeply desire peace and refreshment for him as well.
And… I am at a stage of my life where my creative efforts are vitally important to me. I guard them fiercely.
So the real question now is: How do I honor my business, my writing, the creative spark that gets me up in the morning and that has taken years to find my way back to… at the same time that I honor my husband’s desire to renew and launch his own vision into the world?
That’s the question I’m sitting with.
Yet already I have seen that this kaleidoscope of changes has opened new perspectives and creative ways of navigating life. More often, I stare not at the living room ceiling, but the sky from a bench in an empty baseball field. Or I tap out words on the keyboard accompanied by mellow coffee shop music.
Yes, I grieve some loss of solitude, and I am also learning how to better voice my needs in our new co-working space. As we do this dance together, I’m seeing places where the windows can open even further and we can dream of new castles together – mine, his and ours.
Tell me about your creative castle? Where is it and how do you navigate “barbarians at the gate?”
Cozy Writing Circles
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Summer Creative Soul Workshops
Looks like I need to quit lollygagging and get information out about these! Keep your eyes open for an email in the upcoming month…
Creative Soul Women’s Circles
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