I had been badgering my daughter all morning to do her homework. Don’t forget, I reminded as she got in the shower. You leave in two hours, I admonished as she picked up her cell phone to answer a text.
Finally, an hour before it was time to leave to meet her friends, she sat down to do some homework. She looked at the paper, she scrunched up her face, she twiddled with her pencil. Nothing. What’s wrong I said, highly annoyed by this time. I can’t concentrate, she said. This homework thing has been looming over my head all morning and I just don’t feel great. Fine, I huffed, and left the room.
Then it dawned on me. I was doing to her exactly what I told my clients NOT to do to themselves.
I tell them all the time that before they move into action, whether writing or any other creative project, it’s important to get into the present moment and to access a “good feeling” place. Why? When we’re truly in the moment, we can source more creative thought versus conditioned thought. Also, when we are feeling good, we’re more productive and can savor what we’re doing more (yes, even homework or cleaning the garage!)
Yet, I had spent an entire morning getting my daughter out of the moment by reminding her of something she had to do later, and had also effectively gotten her in a bad mood. The combination resulted in the same thing it does with my clients – she finally sat down to work and nothing happened.
Even worse, the more I looked, the more I realized that, imperceptibly, my days had shifted. I had – horrors – become task oriented. The very thing that for me leads to a mechanical way of being. I had been moving on the level of “push,” whether for me or those around me. If there’s just enough push, it will all get done, I had unconsciously rationalized. And yes, things did get done – but not as creatively, efficiently or happily.
So this morning I began shifting back into the way of being that serves me. Rather than starting the day jumping into my tasks, I relaxed with my tea and then took a long walk. During the walk, I released thoughts. I left some in the neighbors yard, some floated up into the blue sky, some attached to the leaves on the trees. I let them fly from my brain, leaving it more spacious and open. As I did this, great writing ideas (what I had planned to “push” myself to find at my desk at home) just flowed in.
As for my daughter, she went out that afternoon with her friends, and when she came home, in a good mood, she started in on her homework and it flowed easily for her. She was happy, I was happy, and we both learned a lot more than what was due in class on Monday morning.
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As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable. Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Writing Wisdom” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.