Sigh, I’m blocked. This blog and other writing has been on my to-do list, but when I try to sit down and write, the feeling is “blech.” No interest. I’d rather clean toilets.
For the past couple of weeks, my writing was the stone I kicked down the road instead of picking up. I would see it, and then find about 100 other things to do instead, some necessary, some frivolous (did you know that rhinos have been around for 50 million years? True fact!)
But this morning, I got tired of kicking the writing stone down the leaf-lined streets of my imagination. The energy drain of not doing it simply became too heavy.
So I got a cup of tea, took back the “putting it off” energy and channeled it into writing energy.
First there was the circling, like a dog getting its bed ready, and negotiating. Yes, Carolyn, you may do 10 minutes of needed but easy tasks first, like looking up a photo of a new client to recognize her when we meet and scanning Craigslist for sit/stand desks. These easy tasks, with a time limit, calm my mind.
Then I sat down and felt the resistance and some emotional pain in my chest. I took 5 minutes to just notice and be with it. Ahhhhh….
I often write by my front window, so I looked out at the clouds… and noticed how dirty the glass was. Why, I can’t write if I have to gaze out at the clouds through smudged glass, I reasoned. So I jumped up, went outside and scraped off the bigger pieces of grass and dirt that had gotten stuck after my husband’s last mowing.
By the time I came back in, my tea was cold. I had to reheat it.
Okay, back in chair.
More deep breathing. Oh wait, I have a client call in an hour (yes, time is ticking away), I need to set my timer because if I’m in a writing reverie the time will come and go and I will miss it. Oh dear!
Okay, timer set. Hmmm, now I feel tired. Another sign of resistance. Instead, I do some deep breathing and light an invigorating grapefruit-scented candle.
Tea is getting cold again, better heat it up.
And on and on…
Okay, sitting again, and despite all the ups and downs – or maybe because of them – I am sinking into that writing space more and more. My heart is opening. A woman just sat on the bench in front of our house and I feel inexplicable love for her. And for everyone going by the house on bikes and in baby buggies.
I think that is because, as I prepare to write, I am also coming home to myself. Settling into the love and calm inspiration that resides there.
How easy this is to forget when I am busy jumping away from myself with distractions and other activities. How easy it is to make up a story about how hard it will be to write, and why bother, when what’s waiting for me is… me.
Finally, I write. I will come back and edit and polish another time, but I notice my body feels calm and grateful. I am back in my own skin. Fully alive. I could have gotten a cleaner floor in the past hour, but I got something so much better — a more connected, happier me connected to what matters. And the energy I used to resist writing, I can now use for something more fun – like kicking an actual stone down a beautiful country lane…
What does your writing resistance look like… and how do you overcome it? Click here and then share your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of the blog.
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Creative Soul Summer Mini-Retreat
Sunday, July 14, 2019 (offered at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.)
If you want to experience “home” again, join us for the Creative Soul Mini-Retreat, a refreshing, reconnecting oasis in the middle of the season. Whether your summer has been too speedy, too lethargic or too disconnected from what you really desire… we’ll find the wonder again. On July 14, we will gather to connect with ourselves, each other, and the promise of summer. For more information, go here.
Women’s Inspired WRITING Circles
Stuck with your writing? There’s no need to make this a solo or difficult journey when you can be in community and guzzle inspiration by the gallon. Two spots will open in August/September, 2019. For specific details, email me; for general information, go here.
Creative Soul Seasonal Women’s Circles
Beginning August 15, 2019
Have you been looking for a community where you can connect with conscious, creative women, have conversations that matter and amp up truly thriving in the second half of life? If so, join our Creative Soul Seasonal Women’s Circles. NEW: We are launching a 10 a.m. Circle this season! For more details or to register, go here.
Spring Retreat in Taos: Greening the Creative Spirit
Mabel Dodge Luhan House
April 5 to 10, 2020
with Carolyn Scarborough and Sharon Zeugin
Unwind underneath the big skies and tap into your most alive, inspired and creative self at this special retreat in New Mexico. We will stay in the Mabel Dodge Luhan House, is a rambling hacienda nestled between an Indian pueblo and the artsy village of Taos. Whether you are interested in art, in writing, or inspiration in general, you are welcome to join us. Nothing is needed but a desire to tap into your creative soul. More details coming soon…